I was cheated out of the title “daughter-in-law” because of mental illness.
It’s okay; I’ve made peace with that and I harbor no ill will toward those who should have considered me as such.
My life is rich, full of love, support, and loyalty, and I know theirs is not.
It’s enough to make you question the fairness of the world (it isn’t), the justice of loved ones not accepting the help that is needed, and where an all-powerful, omniscient being is when there is so much hurt, pain, betrayal, and anger in just our tiny microcosm of the universe.
But I don’t focus on that. I can’t. I won’t.
Instead, I’ve chosen to stretch myself past being comfortable, ask the tough questions, analyze my thought patterns and habits and break most of them, consider very carefully before letting individuals into my life (I’m still not good at that), and actively decide every day to be the most authentic me I can possibly be.
In the midst of all of that, I can no longer harbor anger or hurt toward the two who have effectively splintered this family. I rarely consider them at all for my own well-being. When they do flit across my mind, I whisper “namaste” and move on. Sometimes I breathe a metta meditation to them and others who are in hurt:
May all beings be safe, happy, healthy, live joyously…..
May all living beings be safe, happy, healthy, live joyously…..
May all breathing beings be safe, happy, healthy, live joyously…..
May all individuals be safe, happy, healthy, live joyously…..
May all beings in existence be safe, happy, healthy, live joyously…..
And sometimes I simply hover above the sadness, acknowledge it, allow it to twinge for a second, and blow it away.