i believe

“I refuse to be anti-gay.
I refuse to be anti-feminist.
I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control.
I refuse to be anti-Democrat.
I refuse to be anti-secular humanism.
I refuse to be anti-science.”

-Anne Rice

I believe there is a Higher Power.
I believe this Higher Power is both feminine and masculine.
I believe in evolution.
I believe in female apostles during Jesus’ day and the possibility of goddesses.

I believe in feminism and I believe men can be feminists also.
I believe in simplicity, in homesteading, in loving your neighbor.
I believe in compassion as a religion.
I believe prayer works.

I believe there are many paths to God.  Many prophets have traveled this earth to meet with people where they are at.
I believe denominations divide us.
I believe the Church does not give God enough credit.

I believe in the power of Nature and our cyclical connection with it.
I believe in hugging trees.
I believe in treating animals with care and respect, whether you’re eating them or not.
I believe in looking people in the eyes, giving them the respect they deserve, and listening to their stories.

I believe there is good in every person.
I believe in books.

I believe in space ships, life on other planets, and that the human race will someday live somewhere else besides Earth.
I believe in ghosts.
I believe in time travel, if only because the exact idea of it is so phenomenal to me, I don’t want to believe it can’t happen.

I believe that global warming exists, that equality has not been reached, and that everyone has a little bit of unintentional hatred toward others inside of themselves – but when we acknowledge it, only then can we begin to erase it.
I believe that the government is inherently corrupt.
I believe in giving aid to other countries, but not in a religious sense.

I believe in man+man, woman+man, and woman+woman.
I believe divorce is the *only*  thing that is a threat to traditional marriage.
I believe in living together before marriage if it’s right for you.
I believe marriage isn’t the only way.
I believe in a healthy sexual relationship in or outside of marriage.
I believe that being pro-choice does not make you anti-life.
I believe that the American Dream is self-serving and ignorant.

I believe in adoption.
I believe one’s family extends beyond blood relations and instead is of one’s own choosing.

I believe in being an introvert.
I believe in standing up for myself, whether it offends someone else or not.
I believe in standing up for my loved ones, whether it offends someone else or not.
I believe in living my life according to me.

I believe in meditation.
I believe in yoga.
I believe in spending an afternoon sitting by a river, listening to the water flow and watching the birds.

I believe in growing my own food.
I believe in traveling the world and broadening my worldview as much as possible.
I believe in being bilingual.
I believe in respect for and understanding in other cultures.
I believe in peace.

I believe tattoos and piercings can enhance and make one more uniquely beautiful.
I believe everyone should have to work behind a counter for at least six months before graduating from high school.
I believe the most oddly-dressed people have the most fabulous life stories.
I believe riding the public transit system by yourself in a big city prepares you for anything and makes you fearless.

I believe owning and riding a bicycle can redefine the idea of freedom.
I believe in taking each person I meet at face value.

I believe guilt is a time-wasting tool of the devil.
I believe in deflecting negativity, but I only accomplish this every other day.
I believe that living vicariously through someone else is exhilarating and also time-wasting.
I believe that we all spend too much time attempting to be perfect.

However.

I believe and that’s what keeps me going.

——————————-

Copyright (c) 2008-2012 quieter notions

tinystories

Passively riding in a car down the highway, she realized for a cold second that she has no idea where she lives.






She machine-sewed the peach-colored fabric up the length of her arm before she realized it didn’t match her skin tone.






“I’m too tired to drive anymore,” she says to the guard rail and smashed glass now occupying her passenger seat instead of her date.






EMPTY: She exorcised her demons before inviting the angels in.

Transform / परिणाम / transformar

transform

[verb trans-fawrm; noun trans-fawrm]
verb (used with object)
1. to change in form, appearance, or structure; metamorphose.
2. to change in condition, nature, or character; convert.
3. to change into another substance; transmute.

“What do you need me to be?” she asks herself.
“A bird, so that I may fly with the frogs,” she replies.
Silly girl, frogs don’t fly.
“They do when you skim the water and float through the cattails,” she says haughtily.

“Where shall we go when you grow your wings?” she inquires.
“I want to fly where I can be alone and above, within and around, apart and everywhere.”
Silly girl, wherever will you find such a place?
“The frogs will show the way.”

“What will we call you, girl-transformed-into-a-bird?” she wonders incredulously.
“You have already called my name, though in the wrong language. I am change. I am motion. I am the flowing of water, the call of a bird already in flight with the wind,” she whispers as she takes flight to follow the frogs.
Wise Child, take me with you.
“You need to believe your wings first.” the moon replies as she lights the way.

Stubborn

In honor of (and with permission from, more importantly) my friend Octavia’s Road to Relovering blog, I am borrowing her blog theme for 2016: a word a day and what it means to me. I’m also starting with her first word and then will venture off onto my own word journey.

stub·born
ˈstəbərn/
adjective
  1. having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.

     #Sorrynotsorry

    Stubbornness, like stress, isn’t always negative. But it is usually seen that way. I have a stubborn personality, therefore I have a negative character trait. Even the definition above gives a grayness to the word at the end (“in spite of good arguments”).

    I believe my stubbornness has defined me in good and bad ways but I’m here to reclaim the good, the strong, the necessary. As a woman, my stubbornness stems from ignoring the knee-jerk reaction to constantly apologize, to always smile, and to be demure. My stubbornness is directly responsible for me standing up for myself, for what I want out of life. It has also led me down the terrifying lonely road where I am the only one believing what I believe.

    I used to cave in; now I don’t (most of the time…it’s a work in progress for the rest of my life). Even if not-caving-in means trembling the entire time and crying through puffy eyes and questioning my resolve.

    So here is my list of #Sorrynotsorry…things about myself that I’ve wavered on, I’ve apologized for in the past, or things I’ve kept inside for fear of judgment or criticism. Moving past my fear and embracing Me is my 2016.

    I am not sorry for no longer considering myself christian.

    I am not sorry for being a woman.

    I am not sorry for standing up to authority figures when they have been in the wrong.

    I am not sorry for taking a high dosage anxiety medication every day.

    I am not sorry for not smiling at you.

    I am not sorry for defining myself through body modification (tattoos and piercings).

    I am not sorry for supporting vaccinations, gun control & background checks, abortion rights, the LGBT community, equality, and refugees.

    I am not sorry for being a woman who lives and breathes science fiction and fantasy.

    I am not sorry for my less than svelte body.

    I am not sorry for not wanting to have children.

    I am not sorry for eating meat and seafood.

    I am not sorry for NOT being the quiet, agreeable, and passive in-law that certain people wanted me to be.

    I am not sorry for double negatives. :)

    I am not sorry for my quirks.

    I am not sorry for fumbling, crying, and crawling toward my truth.

    I am not sorry for moving around the country a lot.

    I am not sorry I don’t shave my legs.

    I am not sorry for my open definition of love.

    I am not sorry for my open definition of sexuality.

    I am not sorry for only doing what is within my job description and nothing more without extra compensation.

    I am not sorry I’m an introvert.

    I am not sorry for studying and being interested in astrology, tarot, runes, and the healing properties of crystals.

    I am not sorry for loving Tori Amos’ music, the Roseanne show, and the comedy stylings of female comedians.

    I am not sorry for my inclination toward being home alone rather than at a large party.

    I am not sorry for keeping a cluttered but clean house.

    I am not sorry for disappointing you if I’m doing what’s right for me. It still hurts me but I need to follow through and I will hope every time that you will still be there.

    I am not sorry for getting an IUD last September.

    I am not sorry for not looking or acting like a typical almost 36-year old.

    I am not sorry for my large feet.

    I am not sorry for realizing I am not at all a pet person.

    I am not sorry for being restless.

    I am not sorry for playing with my hair when I am bored or nervous.

    I am not sorry when I say “No” and I am not sorry when I say “Yes”.

    and to quote Octavia for the last two…

    I am not sorry I’m finally starting to know my worth.

    I am not sorry for being Clara.

the right rain

I try to do right by everyone around me, everyone I encounter, strangers I will never see again and friends, family who I will.
But please forgive me; I am just now learning the awe-inspiring ocean wave feeling of doing right by myself.
The balance of both, the symmetry of rightness is the rainfall I wish to get soaked in now.

Running through insincere fog

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May I tell you a story?

A story about photographs that injure, sunlight that hides, and people who breathe inadequacy and redundancy.

About a reality that isn’t real and sawdust that chokes, but when the rain comes, it sets forth little rivers to wash it all away. I can’t see my boots but I know they are there as the water slowly rises to my ankles.

Her eyes are the real stars of the show. And each flutter of lashes bring them closer. Closer than compliments and an insincere blush.

May I tell you a story about the time canvas almost killed me? How speaking rudimentary Spanish saved me? And everything in between?

Her concrete smile followed me everywhere, even through walls, and her illegal lover thieved touches in the spotlight as she sank further down the rabbit hole. She knows the truth and she knows I know the truth.

And one day, my zebra-striped memories will give me pause, will maybe trigger a twitch at the side of my mouth as I regale you with astounding stories of the two years I ran away from home, from me, from a musty, book-aura’d life.

And then I will tell you how long it took to reclaim. It is a satisfying, continual work in progress but a lengthy one. I declare myself, my love, my journey and my niche in this world; not alongside a red, metal star but underneath real ones I can wish upon.

Whatever it takes.

Indiegogo campaign: BUST Mag Internship or bust!

 

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I’m reaching out to ask for your support for my online fundraiser: “BUST magazine internship…or bust!.” I have been offered an unpaid editorial internship with BUST magazine beginning April 1, 2016 and I’m raising money for living expenses while setting aside a good portion of my own money also.

There are two ways to help:
1. Donate – even small donations raise our popularity and give us more visibility on the site.
2. Post to Facebook – in the end, the more people hear about us, the more likely we are to meet our target.

Indiegogo Life has no fees, so anything we raise goes directly to our goal.

Thank you!